Boss or leader?

Dare to lead, starting with yourself.

A few years ago, I gave a talk at a conference preceded by my years of research in leadership but mainly set off by a particularly bad experience that emphasized, with an exclamation mark, there are leaders, and there are bosses. 

While I could, and often do, cite many examples of good leaders and bad bosses, the test to know which you have or are yourself is simple. 

The boss vs. leader test

Read the following two lines:

Bosses boss

Leaders lead

Now ask yourself, which would you rather have or be? 

Let’s go a step further; which of the two, framed with only two words above, do you think gains more respect? Do more to move an organization forward? Which of those two is of more value to a company? And which will be remembered?

Leadership that should be taught in business schools 

If you happen to be or have just been promoted to a role where you supervise people and projects, would you rather be? A boss? Or a leader?

The sad reality is despite all the business schooling up to earning an MBA, almost no college or university teaches people how to be leaders, or rather, it’s touched upon briefly at best. Sure, you’ll learn data analysis, networking, P&L, and how to sell, but is any of that the essence of true leadership? A role where you lead others and are seen as someone worthy of following?

I will admit that, early on in my career, I started out as a boss. 

Even before getting my driver’s license, I’ve been singled out as hardworking, trustworthy, and savvy at whatever task is at hand. As such, at my first job while still in high school, I was quickly promoted to shift manager at a large global pizza chain, leading people my age and older. 

To be honest, I sucked at it, I mean, terrible. Because I had leaned into learning everything I could about the kitchen, processes and procedures, dining area, and customer service, which, to be honest, does come more naturally for some than managing people, I thought I’d know how to lead others. 

I was wrong—dead wrong. “Not listened to or respected,” wrong. I thought the other employees would do what I said, that they knew their assignments, that this should be easy, and that everyone had the same motivation, can-do attitude, and loyalty. 

Anyone who’s been in a management role knows how extremely laughable those notions are when leading others. Granted, bosses DO think this way, think one can just bark orders, and people should respond out of fear, but leaders know better. 

By the time I left that particular job, I did, in fact, start to learn and grow, and, by the time I went off to college, from reading a few books, talking with people I knew who were, in fact, leaders, mentors of mine much older and willing to share, a picture of leadership emerged. 

Leadership lessons learned in my formative years

Here are some of the things I took away before I had even hit the age to draft or legally own a gun:

• A leader is like a coach, they don’t talk at people, they talk with people. 
• Leading is something you do with others, regardless of your title or position.
• A leader listens, the best leaders, and this is true to now more than ever, listen more than they speak
• Good leaders choose their words wisely.
• A good leader advocates for others.
• Leaders don’t assume other people’s roles or even assume that others know their roles; they are responsible to others and not responsible for others.
• Leaders have integrity, lead with empathy, and persevere through communication that remains (usually) positive, reinforcing expectations and policy without judgment.

Finally, and this is something most leadership books or courses don’t teach, but I feel is quite often, from experience, a difference between a real leader and just a boss, leaders put in the work. 

Real leaders aren’t there to manage others and then assume their role is to move pieces around a chess board. Real leaders become and stay involved in the day-to-day. They ask questions, and they stay curious. 

While leaders hire people to do jobs they themselves cannot do, they ask questions of their workers so that they may gain a better understanding of what people do and how that relates to the organization. They absorb that knowledge to steer better processes and arrive at better outcomes for the organization as a whole. 

Leaders constantly seek to understand the big picture to help both the organization and the people within it, plus those they serve, flourish. 

Bosses do none of the above. They only see what’s in front of them and believe, firmly it’s all about them.

How can I become a better leader?

Again, most of us aren’t born great leaders, and some of us want to become a great leader faster work on our blindsides, have a refresher, or understand what makes us tick.

If you’ve just been promoted and think, “I’ve just become a manager of a department. Where do I begin? Help! I want to rock this new role and impress my own leadership and my new direct reports.”

You’ve come to the right place.

I’ve not only worked with many leaders and mentors and had training both on behalf of large global corporations and for my own curiosity and edification, but I’ve also been certified in leadership training by The Training Institute. Along the way, I have worked with new and existing managers to develop time-tested training, working with people to develop leadership skills, often ones they already had; they just needed some tools and concepts to unlock them.

A large part of my training leaders focuses on two things, both of which anyone can learn and improve upon:

We use peer-reviewed tests to help measure and focus on a case-by-case basis where you’re at as a leader and as a person. This way, we establish a baseline from which to work. “Temet nosce” (know thyself), examine where you are currently, then work together in areas one can improve upon.

Even if you’re not currently leading a team, this can help you in various situations, including networking, social functions, launching a product, working with others, and so on.

I’ve done this for not only leaders but teams to create more positive, proactive, productive, and profitable teams for organizations. This process, I guarantee, will not only earn you more respect and unlock you and your organization’s leadership potential but also create innovation and profits.

Let’s set up a time to talk if you want me to work with you and your organization to develop a stronger, healthier work environment with guaranteed results.

I’ve worked with many to, in essence, get to their why of leadership affordably and quickly with positive results. You’ve nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I look forward to working with you.

It’s important to establish upfront that no client I’ve worked with in bringing them clarity on their abilities, promotion, salary increase, and professional and personal opportunities was done in a one-size-fits-all manner. That would not only be of disservice to you, but it’d also be a dishonor for me. Just like you, potentially the reason you’ve found me, I, too, am always learning, reinventing, gaining certifications, training, and mentoring.

If you’re like me, there’s always a next rung, a next-level, ways to increase your greatness for you, your family, your loved ones, your business, there is no end to a person’s potential, which is why you consider working with me, I’ll upskill you in both measurable and immeasurable ways. The financial investment you make in yourself will increase your professional and personal worth, giving you a distinct advantage and clear leverage to others, it will pay itself back many, many folds over the coming weeks and months.

The process you and I will go through is unique and tailored to you, based on your results, and is yours and yours alone. Your leadership is a gift, regardless of where you are in your journey which, realize, it’s a journey that never ends. It will continue

One area that I’ve worked in for over two years is higher education, and while they do leadership degrees, I’m convinced what you and I can cover in a month is, in many ways, better than you getting a major, a minor, or an MBA. That’s a bold statement for sure, but if anyone can state it, it’s someone who has, as I have, spent time, including working on and for MBA programs at major universities. I’m not selling them short, BTW, and if you have or are looking to get an MBA, why I question if that’s the wisest use of your money vs. another master’s degree in something else, coursework that might actually help you think, because an MBA actually takes away, not adds to, your creativity as a leader, I wouldn’t stop you. There are some valid reasons to take an MBA, but they’re not the ones people think of.

Let’s clarify: what will make YOU a great leader is simply put… YOU! Unless you work with someone who customizes assessments and works one-on-one to get to understand what makes you tick, what you want to be, and become a leader, you’re being sold a bill of goods, a one-size-fits-all. That’s not even remotely close to how I’ve been trained and certified, which is take someone from a baseline, from what we’ll call our known-knowns, to what you want to be and known for.

The process

Step 1: Assessing (know thyself)

The devil is in the details, but what we’ll do – you and me – start with taking some assessments which we can break down into:

• Your core mindsets: These are traits that are set in stone from youth on, what’s the pillars of who you are
• Your motivators: What motivates you, what do you prefer and lean towards, what makes you happy
• Your Emotional Intelligence: What is your sense of self, what is your sense of others
• Your Acumen: In short, this is your business sense, but it has real-world personal implications

These four items are done in an assessment that can take as much as an hour. There are no right answers, only answers. I prefer not to go so far as to say the results show strengths and weaknesses. The results are personalized for you, and only you. They’re reliable to around 90% every time, even if you tried to trick the online assessment it’ll catch you trying to be someone else, I know, I’ve taken them myself, fooling them is hard, and that’s good, I want your honesty and you’ll get mine.

Step 2: Establishing a baseline

When you’re done with the assessments, I’ll review them. The results are as much as 70 pages long, again, customized to your answers, and I’ll often spend one-to-two hours on your results just to ensure nothing gets overlooked before sitting down with you over Zoom. Often, I’ll send my client a PDF of the results in advance so they can look over them, as they’ll have some overview explainers to help you make sense of everything. If there’s something, in particular, I really want my client to note for our conversation ahead of time I’ll mention it in an email with the results. This happens 95% of the time because everyone has some interesting answers that make for a good place to start.

Because no two people are the same, the baseline call isn’t static. Some people’s results are rather straightforward, and maybe we’ll spend only an hour or break up the call depending on the client’s and my time, knowing that we’re both busy, and time is money. I’ve done debriefs, however, that lasted three hours in one sitting, and I’ve done them over three weeks. Again, we’ll set the schedule; I’m working for you.

Step 3: Establishing next steps, establishing outcomes

If you’ve read any of my work, you’ll know there are some core things that align with most all leadership development people, be it the more self-helpy types to captains of industry to military drill sergeants turned Six-Sigma Fortune 50 knuckle-breaking consultants, some form of you practicing gratitude or framed as knowing what you, based on the assessment data or mantra or some type of acknowledgement of what’s going to make you all types of kickass will be in the mix.

From there, it depends on the level of work we’ve agreed to do because, again, you’re not one-size-fits-all. In almost every case, I will outline the next steps in terms of homework and some type of plan that will take you from what you may not know about yourself to a level of greatness.

This often will be based on, but not fully contained, in the assessments, though you can look at assessments as your embarkation or home port, something we’ll establish until you have a clear understanding of this is you, right now, and we’ll get to a place we can agree on that. From there while we’re on ship analogies we’ll discuss your ports of call and how you’re going to get there which, you’re not alone, depending on the service we’ve discussed I will help you get there.

For example, if you’re looking to move up in your current organization, my staff and I will do research to get insights. If desired, we can amp up your LinkedIn. I’m connected to a network of thousands of HR professionals and have a contact and dear friend in the recruitment and placement industry who can help if you’re looking to get into a company. If those contacts aren’t available, we’ll put our best foot forward.

It’s important to note that if you’ve signed up to work with me for all the steps into becoming a leader and it’s for a new job adventure, it’s a longer process than say those who just want to know where they are currently. This is still incredibly important and, arguably, THE most important part for those who are looking for my help to get a new job and/or a new career, which I can also do, as I’ve done for a myriad of clients in the past.

As always, the most important person in all this is you. My goal is to give you not only insights but actionable, meaningful items that will, at the very least, change your perspective about yourself and illuminate strengths and areas where you can lead in your own unique way.

Step 4: Success… guaranteed!

When we work together, I’ll guarantee you that whatever the outcome we were shooting for is what we’ll get. You want to move up into a leadership role? Great, you will. You want to know you skills and how to apply them? Awesome, we can do that. We can do anything we put our minds to. If, after we’ve set out all our steps as outlined and done our goalsetting if you and I have worked together and you’ve held up your end of what was planned and you’re not happy, not clear on your leadership abilities, and haven’t attained steps towards what we set a course for, I’ll refund you money. Simple as that. You want to be a leader, I want you to be a leader, if I let you down on that goal, I’ve let us both down.

Your success as a leader is guaranteed.